Sunday, May 28, 2006

Chapter 5 part 2

I looked around the resturant as i tried to think of anything that I've frogotten. The restaurant was booked for a private function. I was making sure that everything was ready. The buffet was all ready, the tables are all properly set, so everything was in order. For fifteen years i've been in the restaurant business learning the finer point of different services. I'm proud to say that i serve many VVIP even our Prime Minister Mr Lee Kuan Yue and Mr Goh Chock Tong, also other like the Sultan of Johore and the Queen of England.
But most of all i love doing is banquets or special events, like outdoor catering, it's much better then serving in the restaurant. For outdoor catering we would go to different places sometimes we sould be able to see special shows and even meet celebrities like singers and actors, actresses. I would say that's the fun in doing outdoor catering.
I went into the kitchen i just had to check to make sure the food are ready to be put on the buffet table. Because I need to know that everything is in perfect order. I look at the buffet table again, it was a masterpiece and i smile at the perfection of the canapes that march along countless silver platters like overgrown confetti scattered everywhere for a holiday feast. Everything seems to be in order the staffs looked impeccable and are ready to begin. I slowly walk over to the cashier station where Annie was. I smile and asked her "Annie what will u be doing afterwards?" "I don't know why?" She replied as she looked at me. "I was thinking maybe i could buy u a cup of coffee at Starbucks." "Oh... ok if u are buying." She replied with a wide smile.
Within half an hour the restaurant was jammed with people laughing talking drinking being witty or amusing or unkind and sometimes all three. As i went about darting, moving, watching that everything went smoothly. To ensure that the buffet table have enough food to go around or need to be replenished. Also to see that the staff are serving the drinks around and clearing the used plates. It had gone on until three in the afternoon. I felt my whole body ached as i slowly went towards the restaurant enterance to close the door, but before i could reach the door i felt a sudden pain from the chest area. The pain was unbearable that i had to quickly sit down and i began to find myself having trouble breathing. I set down for almost five minutes and slowly the pain just ware off.
During my break time i was with Annie at Starbucks i had ice mocha while she had the ice cuppichno. We talk about nothing at all for a while and then i brought up the subject.
"Well Annie i need to asked u again how would u know that Chris does not love me?"
"Ok let me asked u Spencer, what do u really think?" I was silent for a moment as i look at her. "I think she love me that's what i feel." I replied as i took a sip of the ice mocha.
"Are u really sure? She asked again while looking at me in the eyes.
"Yes i am positive."
"Do u really know Chris well enough?" She asked as she stirs her cuppichno with her straw.
"Although i only know her for only for.........what about a month now, but i think i know her pretty well enough if i might say so."
"Ok there is your answer, if u know her well enough then there should not be any question right?"
"But it was u who said that Chris told u that she does not love me."
"Since u said that u know her well enough then what i say does not matter right?"
"But........i just could not continue, i was lost for word what she said was quite true.
"Spencer, Spencer I think u are just wanting to be love again, after what has happen to you with your ex, and u know what i think?" "I think Chris is just not the right one for u."
I felt what Annie had said might be right. I close my eyes and sighed. It is not Chris is not the right girl for me, but it i that is not right for her. Suddenly i just felt tired and feeling old. Some things are reserved to special age, like getting married, having babies, getting white hair, and no matter how smoothly our lives run. Now and then we find ourselves in the wrong time slot the wrong age. I think after what Annie had said it really sank deep into my heart. I think i should stop dreaming that our relationship will work. I should just let Chris go to let her spread her wings freely to find someone her age, not an old man like me. She needs to be with people her age. I imagine when the first time i looked at her she look so incredibly young and lovely and innocent all at the same time. It was remarkable that in some ways even at twenty two she still so youthful still so innocent, yet there was the wisdom of the ages lurking there too. But whenever i think of her i felt love. How i wish i were in my twenties or thirtyies again, then i will have the right to love her.
To me she's an angel that smile and the rain is gone. I can't hardly believe that I have fall in love again. But this is the only thing that i have always wanted and now sadly i have, i think i must let it all go, maybe it has to end this way. But i think my heart is not ready to let go, it seems so hard to just let something so beautiful to come to an end.