Sunday, May 14, 2006

Chapter Four (Part 2)

Being nineteen years older then Chris, makes me feel that i'm not right for her, i think she deserve better. This has been the one thing that is nagging me in my mind. I need to know that what i'm doing now is right. I love Chris so much that i feel everything should be perfect and i do not want to be seen as taking advantage of her. Most of my colleague told me that what i'm doing now is just not right. Maybe i could asked my best-friend Annie. Let's see how she feels about me and Chris. I know she will tell me the true. Annie has been my good friend for almost six years now. I've known her since my separation with my ex and we've that unbreakable bond. Sometimes some people can be your best of friends and not lovers and that is the kind of bond i had with Annie. I've call her over to work with me at La'Casita, and i was glad that she agreed. Now maybe she could be the one who could give some advise on this matter. After all she is also a friend of Chris and they both are Malaysian.
It was on a thursday afternoon on the day Chris was on duty to mend the banana fritters stall in the restaurant. I manage to asked Annie over a cup of coffee at Starbucks.
"Annie could i asked u something? I said as we were sitted down.
“Yes, what is it?” She replied as she look straight at me ready to hear what I’ve to say.
“I think you are aware about me and Christ, right?” I said neverously.
“Yes, I’m aware.” She replied nodding her head.
“So what do you think of us?” I asked. “I mean is it wrong to be with her.”
“No! there is no wrong in being in love, as long as both of you do love each other.”
“Yes, we do.” I said nodding my head.
“Then, I really don’t see anything wrong with it.” She said as she took a sip of the coffee.
“So what you are saying is that we are not doing anything wrong right?” I said suddenly feeling happy at hearing that positive replied from Annie.
“Yes, there is noting wrong in loving someone, but …..” She said. “Are you sure that Chris do love you, or is she making use of you?”
“Yes, I think so.” I was slightly taken aback by that remarks.
“My advice is that you should not go into it too fast.” She said. “You might get hurt again, and as far as I know I don’t think your heart could take it.”
“I do believe that she does love me, if not she would have say so.” I said feeling a little unsure of myself.
“Well I hope you are right Spencer.” She said. “I really don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
What Annie has just said, makes me wonder? Does Chris really love me? I do feel that she love me. So what Annie really is saying and whatever could it mean. Does she know something that I don’t? You see Annie, she’s the suspicious sort and thought I’m fond of her I could never be like that myself. I keep turning her comment over and over in my mind. It’s not that I don’t trust Chris, I love her and I know she love me too, and that’s all I know. I still don’t know what Annie meant, nor was I sure that I really want to know. I mean Annie, does have a habit of saying things that I don’t particularly like, but usually I just ignore them. That’s what I force to do this afternoon.
Anyway now I’m sure that what’s happening between Chris and me is not wrong. I think that’s all I need to know. Saturday, another one of those hot day. I was just glad that I was in the comfort of the aircon. I was sitting with Beer at the corner end of the restaurant, as the last group of immaculately dressed American left the restaurant.

There were a little of a misunderstanding between Beer and Chris, so here i was with Beer to see if i could end this misunderstanding.
“Beer, could I ask you something ?” I asked.
“Yah, what’s it ?” He said as he look at me seemingly ready to hear what I’ve to say.
“Are you angry with Chris about something ?”
“No! I’m not angry with her.” He replied. “I just don’t want her to call me early in the morning when I’m busy cooking, asking for her schedule.”
“You know right.” He continued. “I’m very busy in the morning and I really have no time to answer her call and see her schedule for her.”
“Oh I see.” I said. “Maybe later I’ll tell her to try and remember her own schedule.”
“So that’s the only thing that you are not happy with her, right ?”
“Yah, but I also want to ask you something.” He said. “Is there something going on with you and Chris?” I wasn’t surprise with his question. I think by now most of the staff does realise that we are an item, but I wasn’t ready to tell or even to shout about it.
“No!” I replied. “We are just friends, like brother and sister nothing more.”
“Are you sure ?” He said, not believing a word I said. “You both don’t seem to be like brother and sister, I think there’s more to it.”
“No! there’s nothing between us.” I said, as he looks at me unconvinced.
After my conversation with Beer everything seem to be back to normal between him and Chris. They are talking to each other again. Although only about work, but it’s on the right track. By now the staff at La’Casita have excepted my relationship with Chris, and they seem to be supportive of it. Looking at Chris, that something which Annie has said keeps nagging in my mind. What is Annie really trying to tell me ?”

But whenever i'm with Chris everything seems right. Looking at her eyes i could see the love in her, how could then she not love me. If she does not love me i think she would have said it.